I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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