The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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