everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
