Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She bit a glass in half.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
