I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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