Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
