hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
did i just pee glitter
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
