we're blogging at a bar
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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