at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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