he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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