Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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