I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
