around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
