It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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