there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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