i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
