Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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