Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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