Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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