There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
