Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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