how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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