Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
