I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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