I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
