He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
