I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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