Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
