I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
