i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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