How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I need water and some morals
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
