I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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