She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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