i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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