im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I look better un-naked...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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