The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
