I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
