Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
