i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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