i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
