I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
