just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
