Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
