I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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