Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't tell me you're on acid again
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
