It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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