How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
