best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
