What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why is there bacon in the couch?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
