she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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